The Perfect Goodbye
by acciosilverdoe
Summary: Complete. Addison returns from her trip to L.A still wondering whether to leave SGH. First she must make ammends with Seattle. Addison-centric. More Addison/Alex than anything else, with some Addison/Derek and Addison/Mark.
1. You Could Be Happy

Author's Note: Hey guys, so this was meant to be a one-shot but I got carried away & wrote loads so I split it in to three parts! This wasn't meant to have any couplings but I got carried away with Alex & Addie hehe sorry! Mostly centers around Addison. FYI I LOVE Addie & Pete, they're cute!! And also George & Izzie never happened according to this so O'Callie is happy!! Starts when Addie returns to SGH after her trip to L.A. Anyway, here's the first chapter, hope you enjoy, please read & review & I will love you forever:D

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or anything related to it

Stepping back into her hotel room was like stepping back in time. Addison had only been away a few days but it felt like much longer. Not that she was complaining, L.A had been great. Not all she had to do was decide whether to return for good. Naomi had made her an amazing offer & she was finding it difficult to turn down. But she was still on contract in Seattle & she knew Richard wouldn't be at all happy if she left. Besides, she wasn't sure about Pete. She hated that everything seemed to comes down to a man, or men, in one way or another, She couldn't deny how she'd felt when he'd kissed her, or the comfort she'd found around him. She just didn't want to decide. 

After a decent sleep she got ready for work & left early, she had a few things to sort out. Walking through the entrance door she paused & looked at the chair where her expectations had been shattered by Alex. Sighing & shaking her head she carried on towards the elevator. Ales was definitely top on her list of people to fix things with, closely followed by Derek & Mark. She also wanted to sort things out with Meredith, though, as she thought it was finally time to show she was really over Derek for good. Stepping into the elevator, she felt a pang of jealously to L.A & their 'talking' elevator. She'd liked the L.A elevators. Sure, her first trip in one had been awkward with the 'horny elevator' speech she'd given Pete, but thinking back it was pretty funny. And the 'elevator God', as she'd put it. She missed Tilly too. It was going to be a long day! 

The elevator came to a halt & the doors opened. She walked along to the nurse's station & saw Alex standing talking to Izzie. At first, Addison thought of going straight up to him & apologizing but she wasn't sure how much Izzie knew, so she carried on around to speak to Bailey.

"Hi, Miranda," she smiled.

Bailey looked up, "Addison returns! Now that's a surprise," she nodded.

"Yeah, well, we'll see," Addison turned away.

"You working today, yeah?" Bailey asked, scanning the room for her other three interns.

Addison nodded.

"Karev, Stevens, get over here," Bailey shouted alerting them their day had begun. "Where are the other three?"

Izzie shrugged.

"Well Mer is just there," Alex said pointing to the corridor where Meredith & Derek were walking.

"I'm here, Dr. Bailey, sorry," Meredith apologized. "Cristina & George are just coming up."

"Okay, well we'll start," Bailey paused & shouted, "Shepherd, here, now!"

Derek smiled at the nurse & walked to join them. "Dr. Bailey," he nodded & turned to Addison. "You're back."

"Everyone seems so surprised, or would you rather I didn't come back?" Addison asked.

"You just left to suddenly that-"

Bailey interrupted them, "please save the chatting for later."

Derek & Addison nodded.

"Good. Right then, Grey you go with Shepherd. Stevens you go with Burke when he gets here. I'll put Yang in the pit & O'Malley with Sloan. Wait, where the hell is Sloan?"

Everyone else shrugged.

"Fine, Karev, um" Bailey turned to Addison. "You need an intern?"

"Do I have a case?"

Bailey nodded & handed her a file. "Okay, well Karev you're with Montgomery."

At that moment, the elevator opened & George, Callie, Burke & Cristina walked out.

"You can all shut up you're late!" Bailey's voice silenced them. "Burke you've got Stevens, Yang you're in the pit & O'Malley you're with," Bailey paused & looked around. "Where's Sloan?"

Again everyone shrugged.

"I'm here," Mark yelled coming up from the stairs. "Elevator was broken so I had to take the stairs," he said panting slightly.

"Do I look like I care?" Bailey asked & continued when Mark shook his head. "You've got O'Malley now get to work," she spun around. "Everyone?"

The interns met the attendings & walked in different directions until only Alex & Addison were left. Addison was reading the file & Alex watched her.

"Everyone okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Addison closed the file & turned to face him. "This is Jane Doe's, or Ava's, or whatever her name is now, file."

"Okay," Alex said. "Is there anything more we can do before she goes into labor?"

Addison shook her head, "not really. Just make sure she's comfortable really," she took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you."

Alex nodded, "okay, well-"

"Not here, too many nurses," she looked around. "On-call room?"

Alex nodded again & followed her. Once he was in, she closed the door & turned to look at him.

"I just want to say I'm sorry for everything that happened the last day I was here. Can we just forget about it & carry on like normal?" she asked hopefully.

Alex thought for a moment. He'd been truthful when he'd said he didn't want to be another intern sleeping with his attending, but he didn't realise he'd hurt her so much, enough to leave for L.A, when he'd said she wasn't his girlfriend. Truthfully, he liked her, a lot, but now he didn't know how she'd react.

He stepped forwards, "is normal even possible for us any more?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, we were getting past it, I thought, until the last day. I don't even know what that was, probably a moment of weakness on both our parts but it wasn't a great idea I know that now but at least it showed us how we really felt & now maybe we can finally move on," she paused. "And now I'm rambling, great! Just ignore me & I'll-"

Alex stepped forwards again closing the small gap that remained between them & broke her sentence by kissing her gently. When he didn't stop, she move her hand up to push him away using all her strength.

"It's okay," he whispered.

"No, Alex, it's not, I can't do this," she sighed. "I'm out of time."

Leaving Alex was hard but she knew she'd done the right thing. She couldn't settle for someone who didn't want what she wanted right now. She was out of time. Her dreams had been shattered in L.A when Naomi had told her she couldn't have the baby she so desperately wanted. What hurt the most was that she'd had the baby, a chance for a family with Mark, but she'd let that go. She'd let go probably the only chance she'd ever have because it was Mark.

"Addie, you okay?" she heard & pushed herself off the wall she was leaning against.

"Hi, Mark, yeah I'm-" she paused. "Great, I'm great!" she said slightly sarcastically.

Mark nodded, unconvinced.

"Can we talk please?" Addison asked.

Mark nodded again & motioned towards a nearby supply closet. They walked in & shut the door.

They stood in silence for a moment, avoiding each others gaze, but soon they couldn't any longer.

Mark spoke first, his tone caring as it was Addison who he cared a lot about. "Why did you leave so suddenly?"

She thought for a moment. "I needed to get away."

"They why did you come back?"

"Because Richard would kill me if I left for good without any notice. I have to talk to him anyway. Naomi offered me an office in L.A & I'm seriously considering moving there. I need to get away from Seattle. It's too hard for me here now, too many bad memories," she said.

Mark's eyes never left her. "Addie, I'm sorry/ I really am. I just…" he sighed. "Don't leave. I'll be your good memory, whatever you need."

"It's not that easy. Believe me I wish it was but the one thing I want is the one thing I can't have," she looked away.

Mark, sensing her upset, stepped forwards & pulled her into his arms. The least he could do was be there for her, even if he didn't know why she was upset.

She wasn't sure if Mark hugging her was the best idea but she didn't resist. She wrapped her arms around his waist & buried her head in his chest.

His head rested gently on hers. Without the heels she fitted perfectly against him. He kissed the top of her head gently.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She didn't reply, but tears were slowly creeping down her face. She tried her best to keep contained but soon the tears turned into sobs & she clung around him tightly.

"Shh, Addie, it's okay," he soothed.

She moved away slightly & looked into his eyes. "No, it's not okay. It's not okay because I can't have what I want.

Mark looked at her confused. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she almost yelled. "What is wrong is that I can't have my dream any more. I have two eggs left, two freaking eggs & I have no chance to have a baby. Any body else's dream is attainable but mine isn't anymore. I'm all dried up & I can't believe I have no hope left any more," her voice went from nearly shouting to whispering sobs. "And don't you dare say anything about what a mistake I made aborting out child because I swear I'll hurt you."

Mark smiled, "I won't," he said but then wiped the smile away. "I'm sorry, this isn't fair for you after everything you've been through. I know that doesn't make it any better but…" he drifted off.

"Thank you, Mark," Addison smiled weakly.

"Addison, I-" he hesitated. "I didn't break the deal. I didn't have sex with anybody else."

She stood rooted to the spot staring at him. "Then why did you tell me that you did?"

He sighed. "I saw you with Karev & I though there wasn't any point in continuing. I was going to come clean the next day but you'd left."

Addison nodded. "Well, okay. There's nothing going on between Karev & myself, just so you know."

"Okay, well he's missing a lot," Mark said, slightly relieved.

"Yeah, right," Addison said unconvinced. She was the one who put a stop to the end of the possibility of anything happening so he couldn't be blamed for missing out. "I should go now anyway, goodbye Mark, & thank you," she turned & walked to the door.

"That's okay, any time."

She smiled & opened the door. Part of her wanted to run back into his arms where she could feel like someone cared about her but she knew she had to move on. However much he seemed to have changed it wasn't enough to take back the pain he'd ever caused.

After facing both Mark & Alex, Addison felt she was almost to the point she could make her final choice. Bearing in mind all that had happened, she knew she was 99 sure she would move to L.A. She wanted to make peace in Seattle first, though, however difficult that was being. Turning the corner she saw Derek walking towards her & she began to prepare herself for the next confrontation.

"Hey, Addie, how are you?" Derek smiled.

"I'm okay thanks. Could we talk please?" Addison replied biting her lip.

Derek nodded & gestured towards a nearby on-call room. He walked towards it, checked it was empty & walked in with Addison behind. She walked to the wall & leaned against it while he closed the door.

Turning to face her, he said, "What's up?"

She took a deep breath. "If I could take back everything that happened between us in the last year, I wouldn't. I know that's extreme, but I think it showed us what we really needed. Yeah, we were good together, but we couldn't keep it up really & us being friends just makes so much more sense. And as much as I like Seattle, I just don't think I can be here any more, Derek. This has nothing to do with you & Meredith, because I am past that now & I'm happy for you. It's not even to do with Mark, it's the others," she smiled slightly. "I just want you to know that I never want to lose you as a friend."

Derek kept silent & listened carefully. He knew where she was coming from but to hear Addison talk about leaving Seattle shocked him.

"Are you serious about leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah, well I went to see Sam & Naomi in L.A. They days I was there were amazing, I felt like I really fitted it. And before I left she offered me a job there," Addison explained.

"And you're thinking of taking it," Derek said, more to himself than as an actual question.

Addison sighed. "Please don't hate me, Derek. Not that long ago you wanted me to leave. I know we've gotten past that now but things could still be, you know, awkward. Maybe," she said uncertainly.

Derek though for a moment. "If this is what you really want I'm not going to stop you because I know I have no right to. Yes, we are friends, & I hope that we never lose that. So if this will make you happy then I'm happy for you," Derek smiled & pulled her into his arms.

"Thank you," she whispered against him.

They stood for a moment before tearing apart. Addison was relieved that she'd spoken to all three men now, & they'd all taken it pretty well. She had a feeling Alex wasn't done but she'd stand her ground & not let him talk her into staying. Now there was just Richard who, if she was being truthful, she knew would be the hardest to convince. She knew he'd be disappointed she was running away but he couldn't make her stay. As much as she loved working at Seattle Grace is was time for her to more on & Richard wanting her to stay wasn't enough. She'd have to talk to Callie too, & would probably end up telling her everything about Alex & Mark, & all about L.A with Pete too. It would be good to get it out to someone.

Derek's pager beeped breaking into Addison's thoughts. He checked it & sighed.

"I have to go," he turned & opened the door but turned back before leaving. "Don't go without a proper goodbye Addie."

"I won't," she laughed.

Derek smiled, satisfied & walked out the door closing it behind his. She stepped back & sat down on the bed, now it was just a case of convincing Richard that she needed to get away. This was going to be the hardest part.

A/N: Yay, first chapter is done:D :D :D So what did you guys think? Please review!! Beth x 


	2. Make This Go On Forever

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**PaoHalliwell: Thanks, & thanks for the reviews on Intuition & Second Chances!**

**Alexkingston: I know if anyone had seen her.. LOL & you'll have to read on to find out if she leaves! **

**Addison24: Thank you! Yeah it's okay, hope you enjoy.**

**Thanks, please R&R this one!! Disclaimer: Don't own anything, ENJOY!!**

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After sitting & thinking for a while, Addison left the on-call room & made her way to the cafeteria. She spotted Callie sitting alone & made her way over.

"Hey friend!" Callie greeted her as she approached & sat down. "How's it going?"

"It's all good thanks," Addison nodded.

"How was your trip & where did you go?" Callie asked curiously.

"I went to L.A to visit a friend from Med School. She owns a private practice out there. And it was really great," she replied.

"Cool," Callie paused uncertainly. "Why'd you leave so suddenly?"

"Oh, you know, stuff," Addison deliberately dodged the question. "So how much did you miss me?"

"What stuff? What did you do?"

Addison took a deep breath. "I slept with Karev."

"Seriously?!" Callie exclaimed but soon stopped smiling as she saw her friend's disappointed face. "Not that great then, huh?"

"Oh no, don't get me wrong it was great. He just didn't want it. He told me that I wasn't his girlfriend," she swallowed hard. "I'm fine now though!" she said unconvincingly.

"Addie I'm sorry. If he doesn't want you then he's the one missing out. You deserve better. If he really tried he could be the guy to have the kids & the barbeques but he isn't brave enough. Which is a shame because I could tell you really liked him, & you two were totally hot!" Callie reassured her.

"Maybe I deserve better, but I've run out of time now. I'm going to become one of those women who collects stuff. Or who has a lot of cats! That's a new one," Addison sighed & rested her elbow on the table.

"What do you mean you've run out of time? You're way to young to say things like that. You have your whole life ahead of you have the kids but you settle for just anybody because you think it's too late, it's not Addie."

"But it is!" Addison moaned. "I went to L.A to have a baby. I found the guy I wanted, well the sperm but not the point. But it's too late. I have two eggs left, Callie, it's too late."

Callie sat in silence taking in what she'd heard. Addison, the one person she could see more than anyone with a child, couldn't have one. She worked with babies, she was good with them, & this wasn't fair to her.

"I had the perfect guy in Derek but didn't have the baby because we were concentrating on our careers," Addison said, pushing the heels of her palms into her eyes to stop herself crying. "Then I had the baby with Mark but I aborted it because it was Mark & I couldn't have a baby with Mark. But now I'm finally ready for the baby & I have the guy, sorry sperm, but I can't. How the hell is that fair?"

Callie shook her head. "It's not fair. I'm so, so sorry Addie. You don't deserve the crap you've been through so far in your life. I wish I could make this better for you," she said, putting her hand on Addison's arm letting her know she was there.

Addison lifted her head & looked at Callie. She could see how shocked she was, & how bad she felt about it too.

"I met another guy in L.A," Addison tried to lighten up the conversation.

"Who?" Callie asked, perking up slightly.

"Pete."

Callie looked at her, raising her eyebrows. "Okay, what's he like? And what happened?"

"He's really sweet. I was upset about the baby thing but he made me feel like hope wasn't lost. I have no idea how but he did it. We kissed, nothing more, but it can't happen," she laughed as she heard it. "It's always me who chooses the wrong guys, isn't it?! It's stupid."

"Why can't it happen?"

"Sam, that's Naomi's ex-husband, told me that Pete's wife died eight years ago & now he can't connect with women & be the guy I need. I swear I'm cursed or something!" she moaned leaning backwards in her chair.

"So are you definitely leaving?" Callie said, getting directly to the point.

Addison shook her head. "Not definitely. But more likely that not. I'm going to talk to the Chief later & then I'll know for sure."

Callie nodded understandingly. "I'll miss you Addie. I've loved having you as a friend."

"Stop with the past tense, I'm not losing touch with you! You have to come visit me if I leave. I don't want to leave Seattle behind completely."

"What about Derek & Mark, aren't you guys friends now?"

Addison shrugged. "I think so. I mean, Derek & I are friends. And Mark & I are too. But I'm not sure about the three of us again."

Callie smiled. "You guys will be friends again. I'm sure of that."

Addison laughed. "Yeah," she sighed. "I really hope so."

They sat in silence for a while, deep in thought. Addison glanced around the room & saw Meredith sitting with George.

"I need to talk to Meredith too. Just to make ammends for everything that happened," Addison said quietly.

Callie turned to look in the direction of the interns' table & sighed.

"Let's go now. George is there too, so I can talk to him while you sort stuff out with Meredith."

Addison nodded & stood up, following Callie over. She kept a few steps behind as Callie spoke to George & sat down.

"Addie," Callie pulled to chair out next to her for Addison to sit down on.

"Thanks," she said & sat down, looking around uncertainly. "Umm, Dr. Grey, I need to talk to you about something."

Meredith nodded, "okay."

"I just want to apologize for anything that I ever did to you to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. And I want you to know I really am happy for you & Derek," Addison smiled.

"That's okay, & thank you," she bit her lip. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I've just got to decide whether on not to leave now."

"Oh, you can stay, we don't mind you sitting with us," Meredith smiled innocently.

Addison laughed. "No, I mean I might be leaving Seattle."

"Oh, God, sorry," Meredith said, cursing inwardly. Her gaze moved to behind Callie's head where Alex was walking towards them. "Hey Alex."

Alex smiled & grabbed a chair, putting it between George & Addison. He sat down & looked to Callie & Addison confused.

Addison deliberately looked the other way, avoiding making eye contact with him or Callie. She slowly glanced back & saw that they were in conversation. She breathed a sigh of relief & pushed her chair back, standing up beginning to walk away.

"Addie?" Callie called after her.

"Sorry, I have to," she paused, "I have stuff to do."

Callie nodded & Addison continued out of the cafeteria. When she was around the corner, she felt a hand on her waist & was pulled into another empty on-call room. She spun around quickly as she saw Alex close & lock the door.

"Karev, what the hell do you think you're doing?" she yelled.

"Keep your voice down, I'd prefer to leave this room being able to hear," he said slightly sarcastically. "What did you mean earlier that you were out of time?"

Addison sighed & moved back to sit on the bed. "It doesn't matter, Karev. I just can't do this, okay? I'm leaving, well at least I might be, damn I need to make a decision about that," she muttered. "I just, I don't want to leave stuff in the air here if I do leave, so I need us to be finished for good, not that we were anything to begin with."

Alex stared at her in disbelief. She was leaving? Why? And why hadn't she told him before?

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean I need some kind of closure between us. To end it, for good," she stared at the floor.

Alex sighed. "I'm sorry Addie."

She nodded. As much as she wanted to hate Alex for making her feel so unwanted, she knew she needed to forgive him.

He walked a few steps forwards closer to her. He leant down & gently lifted her chin up with his finger so she was forced to look at him. He stared into her eyes deeply before speaking.

"Don't leave. We'll make this work. Whatever you need me to do I'll do it if it means you stay," he said, almost begging.

She took a deep breath, never taking her eyes away from his. "I have to go," she whispered. "It's not just because of you, although I'll admit you are a large part of the reason. There's Mark, though, too, & Derek. It's hard enough working here without the past haunting me everywhere I turn."

Alex nodded. He understood but he hated the truth that came from what she was saying. Working here around Mark & Derek wasn't easy for her to do, & he knew he wasn't going to be able to change her mind just by telling her he was sorry. She was leaving, & that was the end of it. Being a jerk & saying stupid things like 'you're not my girlfriend' came easy to Alex, like second nature. He just wished for once he'd not let his pride get in the way of his heart, & then maybe she wouldn't have gone to L.A in the first place.

He knelt down on the floor in front of her, their eyes still locked. He moved his hands to cup her face & wiped a few stray tears that had fallen down her face. He wasn't sure who leaned in first, but soon their lips met.

She let herself melt at his touch, falling into him as if he would catch her. Carefully, he stood up & she followed, their lips still together. Once up, she wrapped her arms around his neck & his hands remained gently caressing her cheeks. Slowly & unwillingly he pulled away to allow them both to breathe.

"Just so you know," she whispered. "This isn't going to change my mind."

"I know, but that's not stopping me," she smiled & met her lips again.

He pushed her back down onto the bed, her hands leaving her face to release her hair. He tangled one hand in her hair & the other returned to her face. She allowed her hands to drop further down his body, tugging at his scrub top until he moved away letting her slip it gently over his head. She caught her breath as she saw his body, & he smiled as he moved them both further back on the bed. Within minutes their clothes were sprawled around the room & they repeated the on-call room a week ago. Twice.

Burying her head in his chest as they lay side by side, Addison smiled to herself. "Thank you," she whispered.

Alex turned his head & kissed her forehead, smiling non-stop. "What does this mean?" he asked, speaking quietly as not to disturb the now-peaceful room.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I just want something to happen to answer everything, nothing is simple anymore."

He shook his head. "Nope," he bit his lip debating whether to ask the question running through his mind. "Are you still leaving?"

Addison took a deep breath. She'd had a feeling he might ask that but she still didn't know how to answer. "Yes, I am still leaving. I can't blow off the whole thing 'cause today you feel like being a nice guy," she sighed.

Alex nodded. Although he understood he sort of wished that he didn't. He had given her nothing but false hope throughout their time working together, & had never given her any reason to believe he could be the kind of guy she needed. He knew leaving was the best thing for her, but he felt so guilty knowing it was almost all his fault.

She lifted her head & looked at him. "I should go, Alex, I'm sorry," she said, kissing his lips again gently before pushing herself up & gathering her clothes. When she was done she turned back to him. "I know this sounds stupid, but this was the perfect goodbye."

Alex simply nodded, finding it hard to speak knowing he'd say something he'd regret. When he didn't reply, Addison turned away & walked out the door, without turning back. Sighing, Alex threw his body back on the bed. Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he just tell the truth? Why was it so hard to admit he'd made a mistake & that he was falling in love with her?

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**A/N; Okay, so good chapter? Not a good chapter? What did you think. Be nice & click the little button & review! Okay, so the next chapter is the last one, it's quite long for me too! Should be up soon, but don't say I didn't warn you that it might be longer cuz I don't have a lot of free time at the moment. Also, I know I said there weren't any real couplings in this story, but I got carried away with Addison&Alex:D**

**Thanks, Beth x**


	3. The Finish Line

**A/N: Okay I'm so sorry it's been so long! This chapter's quite long (well long for me to write anyways), so that's gonna be my excuse for not updating in about two months. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. And it is good to get carried away with Addie and Alex. :P**

**Disclaimer: Still not owning Grey's. **

**Enjoy!! And please review :)**

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For the second time that day Addison found herself walking away from Alex. Why she let herself fall for his charm again, she didn't know. She was leaving. She couldn't let anything or anyone get in her way.

She made her way to the cheif's office, her confidence draining away with every step. When she reached the door, she knocked cautiously, knowing Richard wouldn't take this well. She stood tapping her foot to distract herself.

"Come in," she heard him say, and opened the door.

He sat up when he saw it was her. "Hey, Addie, how was L.A?"

She turned away from him, closing the door. Still facing away, she said, "L.A was good, thanks."

"So what can I do for you?" he asked as she turned back to face him.

She took a deep breath. "When I was in L.A, Naomi offered me a job. And I'm thinking of taking it."

Richard watched her closely. "Why do you want to leave?"

Addison stared at him. She'd expected him to yell, or try to convince her to stay. "There's too many bad memories here, what with Mark and Derek, and..." she paused, wondering whether to tell him about Alex. "Well, Karev. Everyone I turn there's one of them. Or freaking Meredith Grey. I just can't do it any more Richard. I really am sorry. I need a fresh start," she sunk down into a chair, putting her head in her hands.

Richard sensed her upset, stood and walked around to take a seat next to her. He put a hand on her sholder reassuringly. "Addie, if you have to leave, I can't stop you. I don't want to lose you, you're one of the best doctors in this hospital. Hell, you're one of the best in the country. And you know I see you as a daughter. Having you here has been amazing. But I understand that it hurts to be around Derek and Mark all day, as well as seeing Derek with Meredith. And Alex Karev? Well you got yourself into that one," he smiled when she looked up at him. "Basically, if you really need to leave, I'm not going to stop you, but there will always be a place for you here, no matter what."

Addison smiled. She was grateful he hadn't yelled as she didn't know how much she could have taken. "Thank you, Richard. Just promise me one thing?" she asked.

"Anything."

"That if anything comes up, anything you might need my help with, that you contact me."

Richard nodded. "I'd do that anyway."

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a while, Addison resting her head on her clenched fist staring into space, and Richard with his hand on his shoulder deep in thought. Finally Richard broke the silence.

"So what happened with you and Karev?"

Addison laughed, "nothing, really. It's just, I don't know, awkward."

Richard looked at her. "Nothing as in nothing? Or nothing as in you used one of my on-call rooms for something that means they need a lot more cleaning?" he asked.

Addison took a deep breath and smiled, "who knows!?" she shrugged.

Richard smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. He stood up and walked back to his desk. "So you're leaving then. For sure," he asked.

"Yeah, I am," she bit her lip. This was it, she could change her mind now and stay, or she could leave. "I'm going to L.A."

Richard smiled and nodded again. "Okay, well I'll sort everything out so you can leave in the next few days."

"Thank you, Richard. You've been really great. Thank you for everything."

"That's what friends are for."

"Yeah," Addison stood up and walked to the door. She opened it but turned back before she left. "And find a better wingman than Mark Sloan, God know's where you'll end up!" she laughed and walked out closing the door behind her.

Walking down the hallway, Addison realized that this was it. She was officially leaving Seattle for good.

"Hey, Addie," she heard and turned to face Mark, who was standing with Derek at the Nurse's Station.

She made her way over to them, noting how they weren't, for once, arguing.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked.

They both nodded.

"So, as you're leaving," Mark began.

"We thought we'd throw you a party," Derek continued.

"Tomorrow night, at Grey's house," Mark said.

"With people from the hospital," Derek finished.

Addison looked from one to the other. "Who do you mean by people?"

Mark looked at Derek, who answered. "Well the two of us, the five interns, Bailey, Callie, Burke and the cheif."

"And you of course," Mark added.

"O-okay," Addison said uncertainly. "Time?"

"About 7:30," Mark said.

She nodded. "Well, okay. I can't argue to a party. On one condition, no stupid party games," she warned.

"You're no fun!" Mark laughed.

"My party, my rules," she said, smiling.

Both men nodded. "Now we tell everyone," Derek said to Mark.

"Yep," Mark agreed. "Oh, and Addie, don't be scared. We're not about to rip each other's throats out."

Addison smiled. "Good, because it's getting kinda old," she laughed.

"Oh yeah," they nodded and walked off to inform other's of the party.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

After leaving the hospital the following day, Addison drove home quickly to get ready for her party later that night. She'd already planned her outfit, a simple black dress, long enough to leave something to the imagination, and her black prada heels. She felt better in heels, more confident, and the sound of her shoes against the floor never failed to make her feel important.

The thought of spending a night with her hospital friends wasn't really too inviting. Especially when it was at Meredith's house. Although she'd made things better with Meredith, she still didn't feel too comfortable around her. She didn't know George or Cristina well enough to complain, but she'd never really gotten along with Izzie. And then there was Alex. She knew it was going to be weird around him, she didn't know how he'd react or what either of them might end up saying. Mark was okay, she was convinced he was satisfied that they were over, and Derek was the same. It could still be awkward seeing Derek with Meredith, however. She had no problems with Preston or Miranda, and certainly not with Richard. And if they was anyone she knew she could count on, it was Callie. Callie was definitely her best friend here in Seattle. Overall, she just wanted to enjoy the night, knowing she'd be leaving first thing the next morning. And this was her last chance to say goodbye.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Arriving at her party fashionably late (because it was her party and she was Addison), Addison was welcomed in by Derek and Mark, who were now inseperable. She let Mark take her coat and Derk lead her to the kitchen to get a drink 'because there was no way she'd get through the night without one.' After pouring herself a glass of wine, she and Derek found Mark again.

"So, Addie, you excited about moving to L.A?" Mark asked, sipping his beer.

"Yeah, I think I am. I know it'll be weird at first, but I have Sam and Naomi out there, as well as the others. And the weather out there is amazing," she replied.

"Everyone's gonna miss you, you know that right?" Derek smiled and watched her.

She nodded. "I like to think so."

"Promise you'll come visit loads, and update us loads about life out there?" Mark said hopefully.

Addison turned to him and put her hand on his arm. "I promise. I just wish I was here for the three of us again."

Derek sighed. "It's going to be so weird without you here. You seem to like opposing me," he smiled. "When I didn't want you here you stayed, and now I want you around you leave!"

"Sorry Derek," she attempted, pretty sure he was only messing with her.

"I'm kidding it's fine!" he laughed.

Smiling, Addison pushed herself away from the wall she was leaning on and turned so she was facing both men. "I'm gonna go see people. You know, mingle. I'll catch up with you later," she said and walked away.

She made her way towards the living room and spotted Callie on the other side. Making her way towards her, she dodged around the couch and already empty beer bottles, nearly falling flat on her face.

"You made it through!" Callie said, laughing.

"Seriously who has drunk that much already!?" Addison asked, shocked.

Callie shrugged. "So how are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. Kinda strange that I won't be going back to Seattle Grace, though," she shook her head.

"Gonna miss you so much!" Callie whined. "Who am I going to hang out with? Who can I moan about everything to?"

"You'll still have me. Call me whenever, if I'm free, I'll talk. I don't want to lose touch with you so I will make the effort I promise," Addison reassuered her.

"Not the same," Callie frowned.

"It's not like I'll never see you. Richard promised he'd call for any cases he needs me on or think I'll be interested in. And I'll visit you guys anyways. Derek and Mark are friends again and I don't want to miss the chance of us three being friends again," she sighed.

Callie nodded, still not too convinced. She stepped forwards and hugged Addison. "You know you're the best friend I've ever had, Addie, thank you," Callie said, forcing back a few tears.

"You're welcome," Addison replied, slightly shocked by Callie's feelings. "You're the best too!"

Callie sighed and let go. Smiling at her friend, she stepped backwards and leant against the wall.

"Okay I should really go see some others. Catch you later," Addison said, scanning the room.

"Yeah, cool," Callie sipped her drink and watched Addison walked to Bailey and Richard.

"Hey, Addie," Richard greeted her warmly. "Having a good night?"

"It's good, thanks. I'm still in shock that I'm leaving tomorrow, though," Addison looked away from him.

"This is a nice doggy, you know. Sits really still," Bailey said, stroking an ornament dog.

Addison turned away from her and bit her lip to stop herself laughing. She took a deep breath before turning back to see Bailey opening and closing a music box in awe.

"Is she drunk?" Addison leant in and whispered to Richard.

"Yeah," he nodded, trying with everything he had not to laugh.

"She's going to kill you tomorrow for letting her get like that, you know?" Addison laughed. "Kind of wish I'd be there to see that."

"I know, but it will be completely worth it after seeing this tonight," Richard smiled.

"Oh, yeah, definitely!"

They watched Bailey for a moment longer, who was currently amazed by a dangling butterfly charm. Addison turned around as she heard voices coming towards them, and saw Burke and Cristina.

"Hi," she smiled.

Cristina nodded and Burke said, "Hi, Addison," before they turned their attention to Bailey.

"Is she..." Burke started.

"Drunk?" Cristina finished.

"Yeah," Richard and Addison laughed.

"She's going to kill you tomorrow," Burke smiled.

Richard nodded, still smiling widely.

"So, Preston, how's life?" Addison asked after finally stopping laughing.

"Life's good. So you're leaving tomorrow then, going to be weird without you," he nodded.

"Yeah, you've really kept Evil Spawn in order, suppose he's going to go back to being an ass again," Cristina said.

Addison didn't say anything, knowing the only reason Alex wasn't being so bad at the moment was because he hadn't stopped pestering her to stay. Luckily, however, it seemed only Callie had noticed the undeniable, as she's so rightly put it, attraction between the two of them. Well, if anyone else had noticed, nothing had been said.

"Are you coming back for the wedding, Addison?" Burke broke into her thoughts.

"Probably, yes. Depends on how much I have to do, I don't really want to leave to soon after arriving," Addison secretly hoped she would be busy so she wouldn't have to face so many questions about L.A. and, of course, Alex.

"Well, that's good enough for us," Burke smiled warmly, hoping she would decide to come. He looked at Cristina quickly before turning back to Addison and saying, "well, we'll let you see the others now. Goodbye, Addie, it's been really great working with you. Hope you come back soon."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"Yeah, um," Cristina cleared her throat. "Thanks for everything. We'll, um, miss you."

Addison smiled at Cristina's attempts. "Thank you, Dr. Yang, and good luck with your exams in a couple of weeks," she said and turned around to see who she hadn't yet spoken to, which consisted of Alex, who was sitting alone at the bar, and the rest of the interns. Sighing at her lack of choice, she walked towards Meredith, Izzie and George.

Their conversation died down as Addison approached. Meredith moved sideways to let her stand in the small circle, smiling and trying to think of something to say, which proved hard.

Luckily, George stepped in. "So, Dr. Montgomery, you excited about L.A?"

"Yes, I am, thank you," Addison smiled.

Izzie and Meredith glanced at each other awkwardly. Izzie, trying not to laugh, asked, "is it nice there? I mean, obviously it's nice, it's L.A, but I mean what's the hospital like?"

"It's nice," Addison bit her lip. "A lot different to Seattle Grace, but nice. It's good to get away from the drama here."

Meredith and Izzie laughed in agreement.

"Okay, well this is sort of awkward so I'll just leave you know," Addison turned to Izzie. "You're a really great doctor, Izzie, just don't get too attached to patients, okay!? I know it's hard, but it'll be so much easier when you stop," she smiled and turned to George. "Just keep Callie as happy as she is now, and you'll be fine!" she smiled and moved around to face Meredith. "Meredith, I know we haven't exactly been the best of friends, but I want you to know you and Derek really are good together. He loves you so much," she smiled and nodded, walking backwards before turning back to face all of them. "Good luck, all of you," she nodded and turned around walking back towards Callie, knowing this time saying goodbye was for good.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The next morning Addison stood outside her hotel waiting for her cab. She was early, but she didn't want to be in her room for any longer. She'd been packed for days, had never completely unpacked from her last trip to L.A. Handing her key over the front desk had been strange, knowing she'd never return again. Of course, the staff were still in shock that Addison Montgomery was leaving. She'd been there so long they'd started to think of her as family.

Checking her watch she sighed, realizing she sill had 15 minutes to wait. She moved back to sit on the wall, resting her elbows on her knees and staring at the road. Part of her wished she'd taken up Callie's offer to be seen off, but she knew the hospital needed their surgeons more than she needed company. Remembering last night, she couldn't help but regret not talking to Alex. She'd wanted to leave everyone on a good note but he was her exception. She couldn't bring herself to walk over to him, and now she was left wondering.

"Addison!" she heard her name and turned her head to see a worn out Alex.

"Alex, I-, what are you doing here?" she stood up.

"I...came to say...goodbye. We didn't...get a chance...to speak last night," he said in between breaths.

Addison looked away and said nothing. They stood in silence while Alex got his breath back.

"Addison, talk to me," he said gently.

She turned to face him. "All I want is to leave without any untied ends. It just seems like nothing is that simple for me any more. Everything I dream about that seems so easily attainable isn't."

"Addie, I'm sorry," Alex moved his hand to her cheek so she had no choice but to face him.

"Alex," she whispered, her voice caught in her throat as she leaned into his touch.

Alex shook his head. "I know you're leaving and there's nothing I can say to stop you. I'm not even going to try but I want you to know thatI'll miss you. So much. I can't even imagine the hospital without you and as much as I want to carry on with neonatal it's going to be so hard without you encouraging me. You're the best boss I've ever had. I didn't come here to say that, though it is true. I came here to say," he paused and took a deep breath. "I came here to say that if there's anything I can do to make you stay, then name it. I'll do anything."

Addison stared into his eyes, her gaze dropping slightly as she thought. "Turn back time?"

Alex smiled. "If I could, I would."

She closed her eyes, knowing she couldn't cave now. She was moving to L.A, no doubts.

"Not making this easy am I?" Alex smiled as she opened her eyes.

Shaking her head, Addison laughed. "Not really!"

She turned around as she heard a car coming up behind her. "That's my car," she said.

Alex nodded. "Guess this is it then," he stepped back and grabbed her cases, putting them into the car.

"Thanks, and yeah I guess so," she sighed. Turning to the car she opened the door.

Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her into him, crashing his lips against hers. Thankfully for him she didn't resist and kissed him back immediately. After a few moments she pulled back slowly and smiled.

"I'm falling for you, Addison, I just wish you'd stay to fall for me too," Alex whispered and kissed her forehead.

Addison softly brushed his cheek with her hand. "I have to go," she stepped back and got into the car.

Alex said nothing as he watched her car drive away. He couldn't help but feel he'd just let one of the best chances he'd ever have just leave without enough of a fight. He reached into his pocket as hs phone began to ring and his heart jumped as Addison came up on Caller ID.

"Hello?" he answered hopefully.

"I was wrong the other day," she said.

"What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath. "This was the perfect goodbye."

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Aaaannnndddd done:) yay!! Thanks for reading. Please review let me know what you thought of that. Thanks for reading. Sorry if I got your hopes up that she'd stay, I got my own hopes up too!! **

**Beth**


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